Friends! Love Em! Help Em! SHOOT EM!
by RozeWolf
Summary: Don't you ever feel that you care so much about your friends that sometimes you can just kill them! One target and everyone wants that target dead, for good reasons of course! ... Or maybe not so good reasons! All the same! R
1. Domino High

Demon: Ok!! HOWya'DOIN'!!!!!! PINKbunnyMUSTdie!!! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!  
  
Duke: (ears drop) Uh oh! (hops away)  
  
Terra: Read Living Hell to understand a bit more about the pink bunny thing!  
  
Demon: Happy happy! Joy joy! (going around hugging random people)  
  
Wakka: Which of you bastards gave her sugar!  
  
Mokuba & Noa: ... (whistling)  
  
Demon: (throwing roses into the air) Feel the love! Feel the love!!  
  
Terra: Oh no! HELP! Someone knock her out! Wait can anyone even hear me?  
  
Mokuba & Noah: ... ( having a really hard time whistling as they slowly back away)  
  
Wakka: Damn you! (chases them)  
  
Mokuba & Noah: AHHH!! SETO HELP!!! (Running away ... very quickly!)  
  
Demon: Shh ... the Garden Gnomes of Kaiba Corp. are sleeping! SHHHHH!!!  
  
Terra: Go type something!  
  
Demon: Bite?! Ok I'll go bite something! (sinks fangs into Joey's leg)  
  
Joey: ARGH!  
  
Tristan: ARGH??? What the hell?  
  
Terra: Type dammit! I said TYPE!  
  
Demon: Oh! What should I write! HUHhuhHUHhuhHUHhuhHUHhuhHUHhuhHUHhuhHUHhuhHUHhuhHUHhuh?!?!?!?  
  
Terra: Anything! Just shut up!  
  
Demon: Ok!  
  
**At Domino High ... (dum dum dummmm)**  
  
Seto: God these teachers are so stupid! Why am I even here? I'm the richest guy around!  
  
Joey: Maybe it's because you're mentally handicapped!  
  
Yugi: haha!  
  
Seto: Shut up you bloody starfish! You too mutt boy!  
  
Joey: Don't call me a mutt! (falls back in his chair and hits his head on Tristan's desk!)  
  
Tristan: Bwhahahahahahahahaa!  
  
Tea: Tristan! Don't laugh at Joey! (Hits Tristan over the head with a math text!) Friends should be nice, thoughtful, caring , blah, blah, blah, yakity smakity ...  
  
**5 whole long minutes later...  
**  
Tea: Blah blah blah ...  
  
Seto: Yugi what are you doing?  
  
Yugi: The tango! Wanna join?  
  
Seto: No I think I'll pass...  
  
**Another 5 whole minutes ...**  
  
Tea: And they should always be there for each other, and ...  
  
Tristan: 49 bottles of beer on the wall, 49 bottles of beer! Take one down and pass it around ... 48 bottles of beer on the wall!  
  
Joey: Shut up dude!  
  
Tristan: ... take one down, pass it around, 47 bottles of beer on the wall!  
  
Joey: I said shut up! (punches Tristan in the jaw)  
  
Tea: JOEY WHEELER!! HAVE YOU NOT BEEN LISTENING TO WORD I JUST SAID!!! (throws textbook at him)  
  
Joey: Ow! That hurt!  
  
Tea: Well you had it coming to you Joey! Now where was I! Oh yeah! And ...  
  
**20 whole God damn minutes later ...**  
  
Tea: ... friends should never steal and ...  
  
Seto and Yugi playing with Voo-Doo Dolls!  
  
Seto: (In a high squeaky voice! Using a Yugi Doll) Kaiba, what have you done with my friends!  
  
Yugi: (In a stupidly low voice! Using a Seto Doll!) I'll tell after we duel little Yugi! Bwhahahahahaa!  
  
Seto: (Still in a high squeaky voice!) Stop calling me LITTLE!!! AHHHH!!! (Yugi Doll attacks Seto Doll!)  
  
Yugi: (Still using a stupidly low voice) Ahhh! I'm being attacked by a munchkin!  
  
Joey comes out of nowhere with a Tea Doll.  
  
Joey: (In a screwed up girly voice) Stop! Friends don't fight! They help each other! And ...  
  
Seto and Yugi: (Still in their stupid voices!) Ahhh!!! EVIL FRIENDSHIP SPEAKING PERSON!!! DIE!!! (Yugi and Seto Dolls attack Tea Doll!)  
  
**1 hour later ... shut her up!**  
  
Tea: ... friends shouldn't lie, blah, blah, blah ...  
  
Tristan, Joey, Yugi and Seto: (Singing and Dancing!) It's fun to stay at the YMCA! Yes it's fun to stay at the YMCA, hey!  
  
**Another hour later ... zzzZZZzzz**  
  
Tea: ... blah, blah, blah ... Friends should ...  
  
Seto: (Banging head on desk...) Why (Wham) Won't (Wham) She (Wham) Shut (Wham) Up (Wham) Question (Wham) Mark (Wham)  
  
Tristan: What the hell ...  
  
**2 Flippin Days later! ...**  
  
Tea: blah, blah, blah ...  
  
Joey: Water! Need water!  
  
Tristan: Mango! Need Mango!  
  
**Bam!  
**  
Tea drops to the ground dead!  
  
Seto: (puts gun back into his boxers) There! Let's all go home!  
  
Yugi: Where did you get that gun from?  
  
Seto: Do you really what now?  
  
Joey, Tristan and Yugi: No!  
  
End!!  
  
Terra: Teafan are gonna ta be pissed!  
  
Demon: So!  
  
Terra: Bring her back to life!  
  
Demon: Fine in the Second Chapter! If the readers want one!  
  
Terra: Review! Please! 


	2. Cow Land! MOO!

Terra: Are you going to bring her back?  
  
Demon: Who?  
  
Terra: Tea...  
  
Demon: Oh right that thing ... depends on my mood...  
  
Terra: Are you felling ok?  
  
Demon: Yep ... don't know how I'm going to write this though.  
  
Terra: You'll think of something. Mortals might think you're stealing from Demon-Baka!  
  
Demon: Dammit! I was Demon-Baka! My account got inactive though!  
  
Bakura: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! (running away from an angry hoard of bees)  
  
Terra: What the hell??  
  
Demon: I placed a live beehive next to his alarm clock last night...  
  
Terra: Oh! So he's an Alarm Clock Killer ... Smasher...  
  
Demon: That's it!  
  
Terra: What's it? An Alarm Clock Smasher???  
  
Demon: ... (Hits head on desk) Dumb-ass!  
  
**Chapter 2**  
  
**Somewhere in Cow Land,** Terra: Cow Land? You need help!** Joey Wheeler is dueling the King of the Cow people ... Bandit Keith!**  
  
Joey: Crap ... I have no Monster Cards!!  
  
Keith: MWOOHAHAHAHAMOO!!!  
  
Tristan: What the hell!  
  
Serenity: Don't say that!  
  
Tristan: But ...  
  
Serenity: No Buts! (Hits Tristan over the head with Duke ... the pink bunny rabbit)  
  
Duke: Ow! Hey!!! Why am I still a rabbit?  
  
Yami: Joey, believe in the Heart of the Cards!  
  
Yugi: Yeah! What he said!  
  
Everyone except Yami and Yugi: O.o  
  
Yami & Yugi: What?  
  
Mai: You're separated!  
  
Yugi: Well look at that! It's a hat! On a cat! And he's throwing a bat! ... O.o Oh shit! (Baseball bat hits Yugi in the head and he is knocked out cold!)  
  
Joey: What is the Heart of the Cards!  
  
Yami: It's well...hmm ... don't know! Just do it!  
  
Joey: But I don't even know what it is!!!  
  
Yami: Just believe you SHIT!!!  
  
Tea: Don't call your friends that! (Hits Yami in the head with MY Whopping Shovel!)  
  
Seto: How the hell! I killed you!  
  
Tea: Well you didn't kill me enough!  
  
Seto: Wha...  
  
Tea: Friends should be ...  
  
Everyone but Tea: Run away!  
  
**Somewhere in a Cow Bar ... odd ...  
**  
Joey: You think we lost her?  
  
Cow Bob: Want some milk&rum?  
  
Everyone: O.o Ewwwww!  
  
Tea: WHY DID YOU RUN AWAY FROM ME??? FRIENDS DON'T DO THAT TO FRIENDS!! FRIENDS SHOULD BE ...  
  
Everyone: AHHHHHHH!!! Run away ... again!  
  
Tea: STAY RIGHT THERE!!! (pulls out a machine gun out of her skirt) NOW LISTEN TO ME! Friends should be loyal, blah, blah ...  
  
Everyone but Tea: O.o Where the hell did that come from?!?!?!?!?!  
  
**5 Minutes Later ...  
**  
Seto and Joey: (singing with KitKats in hand) Give me a break! Give me a break! Give me a break of that KitKat bar!  
  
Tea: Friends should be ... huh ... HAVE YOU BEEN LISTINING TO ME!!! PUT THOSE THINGS AWAY!!!  
  
Seto and Joey: Eep! (Hide KitKats)  
  
**1 hour later ...  
**  
Squeaky: I'm unleashing Woohoo!  
  
Demon: Sure, why not... I was planning to do that anyway!  
  
Woohoo: Woohoo!  
  
Joey: It's you! (points at the little blue star!)  
  
Woohoo: Woohoo! Woohoo!!  
  
Joey: DIE!!! (Dive bombs on top of Woohoo but misses)  
  
Woohoo: Woohoo!  
  
**Another 5 minutes later ... The $BLINKLY$ have returned!  
**  
Seto: ( Once again in a high squeaky voice! Using a Yugi Doll ... again) Were the hell are my friends Kaiba! I defeated you in a duel so tell me!  
  
Yugi: (Once again in his stupidly low voice! Using a Seto Doll ... again) Mwhahahahahahaa! You'll never find your friends! Hahahahahahahahahaa!  
  
Seto: (Not dropping that damn squeaky voice) Where are my friends dammit! Tell me asshole!  
  
Yugi: (Continuing to use that stupidly low voice) I don't know where your friends are because I don't have them little Yugi! Mwhahahahahahahahahahahahaa!!  
  
Seto: ( I'm going to hit that man if he does stop using that damn squeaky voice!) Dammit! Kaiba! You don't learn do you! AHHHHHHHHH (Yugi Doll attacks Seto Doll ... again)  
  
Yugi: (Get my Shovel! I'm going to force him not to use that voice) AHHHH! Holy crap! I'm being attacked by a toddler! Ahhhhhhhh!!!  
  
Keith: ( In gay-ass voice ... using a Pegasus Doll...) Hi Kaiba-boy! Hi Yugi- boy!  
  
Seto and Yugi: O.o (punch Keith straight in the face then resume playing)  
  
**1 Hour Later ... Feel the Love! (throwing roses)**  
  
Tea: Getting back to my point, friends DON'T abandon each other ...  
  
Woohoo: Woohoo! Woohoo! Woohoo!  
  
Mai: Someone shut that little blue star up! It's cute and all, but it's annoying as hell!!!  
  
Joey: (Trying to flatten Woohoo with MY Whopping Shovel!!) Why (wham) won't (wham) you (wham) Die! (wham) (hits Tristan in the head and knocks him out! Tristan falls on top of Duke ... bunny pancakes anyone?)  
  
**3 days later ... Woohoo!!!**  
  
Tea: Blah, blah, blah blah .....  
  
Tristan: Yo Seto do you have the gun on you again?  
  
Seto: Nope ... Put it in the dishwasher!  
  
Tristan: Why ...  
  
Seto: It had ketchup on it!  
  
Tristan: O.o Why...  
  
Seto: Thought it was a hotdog! Don't know why since I keep that thing in my boxers!  
  
Tristan: Ok then ... now turning to Joey and Mai doing the Conga! What the hell ...  
  
**1 Week Later ... I'll go dig my grave now!**  
  
Woohoo: Woohoo!! (lands on Tea's head)  
  
Joey: Now stay put you stupid piece of shit ... (tries to beat the crap out of Woohoo but ends up killing Tea!) Opps! Oh wait ... we're saved!!!  
  
Everyone: Yeah! (Jumping for joy in the middle of the street when suddenly a Coke truck runs over them and they all die)  
  
**End**  
  
Demon: Sorry for the shitty ending there folks! The next chapter will be better!  
  
Terra: You are bringing them to life again right!  
  
Demon: Have to! Or else no more chapters!  
  
Squeaky: Hey I know! How bout the readers give us suggestions for up coming chapters!  
  
Terra: Wow! It's getting smart!  
  
Woohoo: Review Please!  
  
Demon, Terra and Squeaky: Did it just not say Woohoo!!!!  
  
Woohoo: Woohoo!!  
  
Demon, Terra and Squeaky: Dammit! 


End file.
